Ash Rocca’s birthday celebrated with a small garden party at Levin Farm.
It would have simply been too sad to let the parentless boys go without celebration. Ladies Elena and Ekaterina found themselves once again seated near Lord Darcy, who they had decided was an intolerable snob due to his recent behaviour.
Epilogue. One year later.
Anna.
I
slowly corrected my makeup and looked at Denis, collapsed in an armchair and
pulling a tie. — I hate all
these blows, — he growled. —
I’m generally … a bridesmaid, so why am I dressed like the groom’s friends?
—
Stop it,— I said, — you’re wearing a tie, but I’ve tied it so much! In
addition, a pink dress you will not go because of your hairy legs.
He
lowered his hands, and I again slowly turned to the mirror. Well, it seems that everything is perfect. Makeup,
a dress … well, who will say that I am more than thirty years old?
Denis came up
to me and smiled. — You have no
idea how beautiful. And you have no
idea how happy I am for you.
I turned to
him and laughed happily. Almost
a year ago I met a man who fell in love instantly and received the same
reciprocal feelings. Only then did I
understand what Denis felt for Lina. And
the remnants of feelings towards him melted, and I could no longer understand
how I could hold on to him so firmly. He finally became my brother.
And I was happy.
— It’s so sad you were alone,— I said, turning back to the mirror. Reflection
Denis waved his hand and once again pulled a tie. — Well, it happened.
There
was a knock at the door, and I heard the groom’s voice: — Anya, are you all right
there? I’m jealous.
We
laughed and, kissing my hand, Denis left the room. — Thank
you, Denis,— I said through the closed
door. — For all.
** A few hours later. Denis
At
home in the corridor, I gladly pulled off my tie and pulled off my shirt. An
interesting sight, these weddings, but, I hope, more than my foot will not be
on one.
I
walked slowly into the bedroom and with pleasure stared at the fragile figure
sleeping on the bed. I
sat on the bed and touched the girl’s foot and saw her instantly open her eyes. — Hey, — I said softly. — Hello. How are the exams? —
Fine. — She reached out and sat beside
me, holding me by the shoulders. — How did it go?
I fell back
on the bed and replied: — My God, I’m free.
And I laughed.
Lina
smiled and sat on top of me, knitting my ribs. I
stroked her still flat stomach and asked anxiously: — Are you sure, Lina? We
have not worked so long … I would not like to cause harm … to both of you. — It’s all
right, just the second month,— the girl answered. —
The doctors were allowed,— she added,
noticing the doubt on my face.
She
bent over me, and I saw my reflection in her eyes.
And I firmly pronounced. — Only you, Lina,
just you.
And
I heard her echoing my words.
I closed my eyes and
leaned forward. My
wife, my angel, my muse.
And finally
I kissed her.
Close your eyes
… And there, in the depths, behind closed eyes, close your eyes again. Then
come to life even the stones. (с) Wings of Desire
Chapter 21. Three
months later.
Denis.
I’ve never been sick for so long. These three damn months exhausted me
completely. The constant temperature and weakness had me so dead that I was
already ready to die.
And silence. Anya at first visited me often, but then I started to visit less
often and spent whole days alone. It was like before, but it turned out that I
had time to get used to it. I was sorely lacking in Lina.
Silence crushed, I heard the sound of my own heart and realized that I was
starting to go crazy. His father’s ghost began to appear regularly, he simply
stood with his arms crossed and his eyes fixed on me with black eyes. I again
felt like a child, I felt old scars get inflamed and it always seemed to me
that thick blood was flowing down my spine again. He ran his hand over the
disfigured skin and stared blankly at the clean palm. But the feeling did not
disappear.
And outside the window I was beckoned for emptiness and promised deliverance
from everything. From infinite longing, from impossible weakness, from
devastating thoughts. And every day I was closer and closer to accept it.
I wanted to call Lina, but I could not find the phone near me. And when he
tried to get up and look for him in the apartment, several times he put his
head on the floor and more attempts to look for him did not. Yes, and that I
said to her? Do you need me like air? But do I need her? Or maybe I
misunderstood everything? But where is Lina, then she has the keys to my
apartment …
Sometimes it seemed to me that I saw Lina nearby. I lifted my leaden hand, but
my fingers passed through it. Then I closed my eyes and felt tears under my
eyelids. I was giving everything, if only my beloved was close. But as usual, I
only had me and, it was not the best company.
From heavy thoughts, my head ached even more and the temperature jumped. I
wrapped my arms around myself and fell asleep with an agonizing, not bringing a
relief sleep.
And then I started to dream, as I draw. I saw myself from the side near the
easel, but could not understand what was on the canvas. He glared at the bare
back with scarred blood and slowly flowing down the buttocks; Tried to touch
the long hair, sticky with blood and sweat, but constantly pulled his hand away
and woke up. And again I fell asleep, because I was not awake.
And again there was this endless dream, in which nothing was changed. And then
I heard my voice, which hoarsely asked the drawer: — What’s on the canvas … Denis?
And I saw my reflection turn my head and peer into the yellow eyes and
involuntarily sighed.
And I saw my pale lips stretching out in a smile, smeared with blood draining
from my nose, pressed the brush to mouth and heard a whisper that sounded in my
head with a bell: — Lina. — Lina, — I repeated and
opened my eyes. — Lina! — I shouted.
Memories for the whole lost year came crashing down on my head. Lina … Anya
…
I struggled to get out of bed, staggering and suddenly realized that I was
healthy. There was only weakness. But now I remembered everything.
I have to see Lina.
** Lina.
I hardly got to the hostel. However, today was a joyous day — my sister said
that the disease is not progressing and doctors have the confidence that she
will be able to defeat her.
I was happy. And the day was warm, I was in a good mood, despite all the leaden
fatigue that accumulated in me all these months.
I lived with the constant feeling that something important was being taken away
from me, part of me and I knew what the name of this part was. I needed him,
but the man did not call, did not come and I realized that he did not need me,
since he refused so easily from me. And to think about it was dreary.
But today I had a feeling of ease, maybe because of the weather, maybe because
of something … I was happy.
On the steps of the hostel sat a man and twirled a pack of cigarettes in his
hands, as though considering whether he should smoke or not. Black-haired, with
long hairs, carelessly tied in the tail … my heart jumped at his sight. And
when I came closer and he raised his head, I clamped my hand in order not to
scream. I was closely watched by Denis, with painful dark bruises under his
eyes, with sunken cheekbones and crooked lips. The yellow eyes faded and he
looked like that … did he really manage to get sick all this time?
And then I went up to him and snatched cigarettes from his hands. — Do not smoke,— I said sternly, — you idiot! — Idiot, — he agreed, and held out his hands to me like a child.
** — Nerd,— I
told him the third time. — You did
not even try to be … even jealous!
In
the room, I use the absence of a neighbor, I arranged for Denis a breakdown. The
man listened to everything in silence, only his pale cheeks reddened and he
slowly wound his long hair on his finger. —
I do not know how to be jealous, Lina,— he answered, wincing and looking away. —
I’ve never had anything that I could zealously guard. — And I? — I shouted. — You lied to me about your love? — You … I never
deceived you, Lina. But I just could
not get used to the fact that you need me. Also constantly thought — what
for I to you such? And I just could not take it
for granted. And
when I saw how that guy kissed you, he freaked out and left. It
did not even occur to me that I can do something because I do not know what to
do in such cases. They
always left me at once, and there was never any lasting relationship. Anya … this is a separate
story.
— And all these
months I was sick and thought about you. I wanted to see you
and thought that you do not need me anymore. And
then I remembered everything and realized that I would die if I did not see you
… alone or not, but I had to see you. Maybe the last time, who
knows?
I
stood for a few seconds in front of him, and then weighed Denis a slap in the
face. The
man’s head jerked and he looked at me in an offended manner. — Suck it all know where? — I said irritably. — How can you be insane to me! Wake up, Denis! I
stand before you and say that I do not need anyone else, do you? Do something! —
Oh, — he said, and I was ready to beat the man with a heavy object on his dull
head, but suddenly Denis sat down on one knee and took my hand. I covered my mouth with my hand. What else did he decide to do? — Lina. But
you’re right. I have to do
something. And I
will do what I wanted for a long time.
His
eyes turned green when he said: — Will you
marry me, Lina?
Time stopped. He … seriously? But was not this something I had
dreamed of sometime? The
man looked away and sighed heavily, starting to rise from his knees. He thinks I’m refusing him? — Yes, —
I heard my voice and repeated it louder. —
Yes, Denis!
And then I cried.
Howondaland 